Greenleaf Lake, Camp Gruber

Greenleaf Lake, in the footsteps of the 42nd ‘Rainbow’ Division © Erin Faith Allen

Nearly a decade into this work and sometimes I forget how much I have actually gathered, how far I’ve traveled, and the lengths I’ve gone to in my quest for historical truth.

It hits me hardest when I am in the place. The archives give me the paper. The place gives me everything the paper cannot hold: the air, the light, the impact of standing on ground where something happened and knowing it the way you can only know it when you have spent years inside the documents first.

When you can imagine the people you have been so carefully learning standing right in front of you, in their youth, in their prime, in their just-about-to-go-off-to-war combat innocence.

I am sitting at the edge of Greenleaf Lake at Camp Gruber, Oklahoma. My hair is sticky. The humidity is something I was not prepared for. Even this Texas resident was taken aback by its thickness. But I did not care even slightly; it felt atmospheric, weighted, and perfect.

This is my happiest place on earth, this place where the work becomes real. Where the story I have been gathering piece by piece across a decade suddenly coheres, and I can feel the full scope of what has been entrusted to me. Not just the 42nd ‘Rainbow’ Division stories, but all of the families and institutions that have trusted me to bring their stories forward.

I do not take that lightly.

I never will.